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The Compassionate Eye

The Voices of Namaste Publishing and Our Guests

How to Be at Peace with Yourself When There Are Things in Your Life You Don't Like

Jan 22, 2011

Spiritual Insight from Eckhart Tolle's Stillness Speaks

Have you ever realized how many of us are constantly trying to change something in our life because we aren’t happy with it?

Often we aren’t happy with ourselves, let alone with other people or some of the circumstances of our external life.

The result is that instead of enjoying a flowing, peaceful internal experience each and every day, we feel torn much of the time.

Some of us even feel at war with ourselves at times.

Says Eckhart Tolle in Stillness Speaks:

Whenever you are able, have a “look” inside yourself to see whether you are unconsciously creating conflict between the inner and the outer, between your external circumstances at that moment—where you are, who you are with, or what you are doing—and your thoughts and feelings. Can you feel how painful it is to internally stand in opposition to what is?

If you don’t feel peaceful within yourself, you can pretty much bet that at some level you are fighting with something that’s a part of your life right now.

The reality is that few people live from a settled, calm, peaceful state of being. Most aren’t truly happy with themselves, comfortable with themselves.

Yet our natural state is one of deep peacefulness.

We inherently love being who we find ourselves to be in our deepest being.

This doesn’t mean we are automatically going to like or enjoy everything in our external world, even everything about our own external person such as our size or looks.

Once we sink into the calm at our center, which is the essence of our being, we can accept the external realities of our life without feeling we have to fight them.

Acceptance doesn’t mean we necessarily want something to be the way it is, just that we aren’t in a state of resistance. Then, if something can be changed, we come from our calm center as we make changes—and the changes flow, instead of being a battle.

For instance, if  you want to lose or gain weight and have been struggling with doing so, you no longer resist where you are on the scale. You don’t agonize about the fact you need to lose or gain. You embrace yourself as you are.

Then, arising from inner peacefulness, you may find yourself spontaneously wanting to make changes in your diet or exercise routine, which will come from the heart and therefore be free of the usual struggle.

Authentic change originates in inner stillness, not inner strife.


*Editor's note: Eckhart Tolle's second book, Stillness Speaks, is available in hardback and also on CD. We invite you to join us in the weekly course Journey to Higher Consciousness, which is accessed on the homepage of this website. A fresh section is posted every Monday, but you can begin the course at any time. Also, to go more deeply into living in the present moment in an ongoing state of consciousness, especially as it relates to being true to ourselves in our relationships with others, join us in the daily blog Consciousness Rising.

Chrysanthie.'s picture

Weight is a great example David. When I weighed 105 lbs and my waist was 18", with my distorted sense of self at the time, I thought and felt I was rotund, lol. Suffice to say, that I am not even close to that weight and am more in ease than ever. When I make it an issue, I find like most everything, I am like a pendulum swinging from weak self will to self willed drive. What you share about embracing all as it is, is so right on. I find, it short circuits the strife of mental judgment. It's no longer about right or wrong, good or bad, should or shouldn't. It's about stuff truly no longer resonating with my conscious. When I am not in judgment of myself all opens up and flows naturally, and furthermore when something truly no longer jives authentically within, I do not judge others by a new found 'higher standard' either. It remembers me to Jesus sharing that when being in 'Christ' all is permissible, but not all is beneficial. Realizing 'what' we truly are expands consciousness in all simply being sacred. Not a superficial sense of spirituality but simply more being well Being. There is no strife in peace, there is no mental moral judgment in silence and stillness. When I am in self-conscious judgment or trying to change something by making it happen, or not, by reaching for some comfort that is not beneficial, I now tune in more deeply and remember, 'WHO' cares! 'WHAT'ever! ...and ever and ever amen. It's so completely different. The gratitude that arises in realizing the contrast is such a blessing as I grow in being centered by witnessing all in unconditional Love.
Thank you, appreciate all being shared.

Kate123's picture

"Acceptance doesn’t mean we necessarily want something to be the way it is, just that we aren’t in a state of resistance."

Most of us have been taught by example all our lives to believe if we accept something we would like to see changed (instead of manipulating it or running away from it) that we will get more of what we don't like. How can focusing on what we don't like be a good thing, we ask?

Without coming from our inner Peace state AS we accept whatever seems to be "not enough" this would be complete insanity. Without knowing who we are "One with the One Who changes not" we would fear embracing "what is." Until we know our true essence everything is "not good enough" esp. us. When we know our true essence and find lack in our lives, we can fully embrace the lack while feeling into and knowing our 100% fulfillment of our true essence. In doing this, whatever change or movement needs to happen next, will...all by itself with no manipulation.

David Robert Ord's picture

Thank you for adding this great insight, Kate. So right-on.